at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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