So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
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I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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