I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize