Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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