And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize