Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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