Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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