Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
is wine microwaveable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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