she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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