apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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