yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
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He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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