U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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