recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I enjoy the company of your penis
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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