Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As shirtless as possible
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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