Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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