we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
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