haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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