All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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