This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize