the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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