Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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