she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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