Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
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Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
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His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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