Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
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My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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