could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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