The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize