ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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