Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize