at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
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i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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