i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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