She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
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the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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