i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize