Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
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At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
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Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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