my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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