I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize