I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize