Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I believe in your delicious
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