there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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