u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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