..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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