Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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