All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize