My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
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