everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize