Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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