I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize