if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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