Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize