just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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