the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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